25 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters
by ForeverEnshrined
Summary: Pretty self explanatory summary. *hint hint, read the title! Twilight characters change by the chapter. Rated K
1. 25 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan

**Inspriration. It can change your life(:**

**25 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan**

1. Call her Isabella, instead of Bella.

2. Ask her to choose Team Edward or Team Jacob in front of the two guys.

3. If she chooses Team Edward, tell her she is letting Jacob down when he helped her.

4. If she chooses Team Jacob, ask her if she really loves Edward or not.

5. Tell her that her dad is going to shoot Edward tonight.

6. Tell her that millions of fans are at Edward's house seducing him into sex.

7. When she denies it saying that Edward would never do that, tell her that's not what he said last night.

8. Ask her where Victoria is and how she's doing.

9. When she tells you that Victoria is dead, tell her that's what you think.

10. Tell her Edward is cheating on her.

11. When she asks who, say it's Jacob.

12. Tell her she's older than Edward.

13. Call her old.

14. Tell her she looks older because she can't sleep.

15. When she tells you she can't sleep (since she is a vampire) suggest that she should go to a doctor for medical help.

16. Poor ketchup on her.

17. When she asks you why the hell you did that, ignore her and say "Jasper! Come and get it!"

18. Attempt to make a knock – knock joke. (Knock – knock. Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Come on, don't be such a baby)

19. Ask her if the father of her baby is Edward or Jacob.

20. When she says Edward, tell her that's not what Carlisle (otherwise known as Dr. Cullen) said.

21. Tell her that you gave her baby up for adoption

22. Tell her that the Volturi have adopted Renesme.

23. Talk to her about the bags under her eyes.

24. Sprinkle glitter on her.

25. When she asks you why you did that, tell her you're the special effects person for making vampires sparkle.

**Next one is "25 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen." Want a spoiler? Alright, "Tell him to date girls his age". LOL(:**


	2. 25 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

**Some of these are the same as Bella's because they are vampires, related to the baby, etc. Siblings. They'll be the death of me(:**

**25 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen**

1. Tell him you gave the baby up for adoption.

2. Tell him the Volturi have adopted her.

3. Tell him to date girls his age.

4. Give him Team Jacob underwear.

5. Throw his baby into a ditch.

6. When he asks you why the hell you did that, tell that he's next.

7. Tell him the Volturi have killed Bella.

8. Tell him Jacob is more muscular than him.

9. Tell him Bella like muscular people.

10. Go on and on about how great Jacob is and how lame Edward is.

11. When he tells you to shut up, say bite me.

12. Sign his up for a therapist.

13. When he asks you why you did that, tell him that you're concerned about his use of bleach (for his pale skin).

14. Give him a purity ring.

15. As him if you can borrow the make-up he uses to make his face pale.

16. Kick his "personal area" and ask if it hurts.

17. Tell him Bella is cheating on him.

18. When he asks who, say Jacob.

19. Tell him that Rosalie is going to kill Bella.

20. Steal his hairspray.

21. Make him read New Moon so he'll relive the moment of hurting Bella over and over and over and oh I think you get the point.

22. Steal his journals and post the entries on livejournal.

23. Shove a knife into his heart.

24. When he furiously asks you why you did that, tell him that he'll live anyway and it's no big deal.

25. Give Bella a paper cut in front of Jasper, again.

**I'm so glad many of you guys like this! I see it's only been a day and I've gotten at least three reviews and about four alerts. Thanks a bunch! It's sort of disappointing, however, since a story I've posted up about a week ago got nothing, but no biggie(:**


	3. 25 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black

**Just woke up an hour ago, no breakfast, no nothing. But now this, this is something. ;) Yes, this is about Jacob Black, mainly because he is the next main character to come(:**

**25 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black**

1. Kidnap him, and fly him out to Antarctica….naked.

2. Then send him a a postcard asking if he's cold yet.

3. Constantly remind him of how Bella chose Edward over him.

4. Call him the "mutt from hell."

6. 5. Invite him to a birthday without him knowing its EdBella themed.

7. Bark at him, 'nuff said.

8. Tell him that vampires have "super powers".

9. When he says so what, tell him he's just a mutt shape shifter from hell.

10. For Christmas, give him Team Edward underwear.

11. Throw a stick, and tell him to fetch it.

12. During New Moon, ask him if he was being "safe".

13. When he asks you what you're talking about, point to Bella.

14. Invite him over to a sleepover at the place EdBella stayed in.

15. In reference to number 13, make Jacob sleep on the same bed they had sex.

16. Remind him that HE'LL be the one growing old (when he eventually stops transforming) instead of Bella.

17. Everytime Jacob needs to go to the bathroom, point him towards the nearest fire hydrant.

18. Call him Jacob White.

19. Tell him that he smells.

20. Tell him to do anything for you (like "get me my iPod") only to pat him head and say good boy.

21. When he takes his shirt off in the cold, tell him it's not very healthy and he could get a cold.

22. Ask him if he's on steroids.

23. For his birthday, give him a bone from Petco.

24. Ask him if he's best friends with Air Bud.

25. Substitute Jacob's name in the song (NOT GAME),"Bingo".

Buy him a dog collar that says Team Edward.

**Just saw Vampires Suck. It hasn't come out, but I know some people, hehe. ;) Just review tell me if you want the link. :DDDD**


	4. 25 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen

**Twilight. I'm not actually one of those big fans. I mean, I read the book and saw the first two movies and Vampires Suck, but I didn't see Eclipse yet. Care to tell me your thoughts on Twilight? Maybe in a, oh I don't know, review? ;)**

**25 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen**

Take her outfits and give her the rags hobos wear.

Trash her Porche.

When she asks who did it, tell her she should've known that.

Tell her that her fashionista skills are going downhill.

When she objects, mumble that's not what everyone else said.

Give a magic crystal ball.

Ask for a prediction.

Think about making out with Jasper.

Watch her get all angry and frustrated.

Ask her if she knows what you'll be doing in 5 minutes.

When she starts procrastinating, change your mind constantly.

While driving, cut in front of Alice and drive extremely slow that even the elderly are passing by.

Compliment her by saying she's so petite, and take it away saying that her height has only made her more pixie-like.

Ask her if she's from a family of fairies.

For her birthday, give her a booster seat.

If she doesn't want it, glue it to the driver's seat of her Porche.

Remember to use super glue.

Point at her hair, shocked.

When she asks you what you're pointing at, tell it she has a white hair.

Have her go shopping at a thrift store.

Compliment to her about her nice make-up, and quickly take it away when asking where she got those fangs. (You could add that it isn't Halloween yet)

Spray paint "Team Jacob" onto her Porshe.

Tie Alice up and make her watch you cutting up all her credit cards.

Snap the heels on her shoe, so she'll seem even shorter.

When she is out with Jasper, pay someone random to go up to her and say "Yesterday was the best night ever. Can we have an encore tonight?"

**Well that's it. I don't put much effort into these stories. Sort of boring, but I love my readers! I would especially appreciate you guys reviewing. About the watching Vampries Suck for free, I'm not giving you the link if you commented like some people "That was funny. Can you give me the link?" Now I am not because I want a well thought out review, or don't review at all. Reviews just give me more inspiration. Lucky charms, I call them. AND I GOT TO GET ME SOME OF THEM LUCKY CHARMS! haha**


	5. 25 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale

**Oh I just had to. Jasper's part was easier than I'd expect. I'm losing interest in this story. Reviews help a lot. As said before, they're my lucky charms. And I need my source of calcium. Enjoy(:**

**25 Ways To Annoy Jasper Hale**

Call him Jasper Cullen.

Make him watch replays of Vampires Suck, the part where Bella gets a paper cut.

Give Bella a paper cut in front of him.

Tell him that his "babe" Alice did a great job last night.

Make him play chess with Alice.

Make him play chess with Edward.

Go near him and swish your hair, fully exposing your neck.

Tell him real men don't sparkle.

Since he looks like he's always in pain, give him asprin.

If that doesn't work, use Tylenol.

Every 2 minutes of speaking with Jasper, tell him you're hungry and attempt to bite him.

Give him a hickey.

Expose your neck and tell him he doesn't have the balls to get what he wants.

When he starts to attack you, push Alice in front.

Say "Wow, but you have the balls to kill your girlfriend. Harsh, dude. Just plain harsh."

Ask him if he wants therapy after the "birthday incident".

End every conversation with bite me.

For his birthday, give him tickets.

Ask him why he's always in depression.

Before he can respond, tell him that he's not suppose to bite himself, just cut if he wants to being a stereotype!

Splatter red paint all over Alice and record the reaction of them two.

Sign him up for the school's blood drive.

Scream occasionally when talking to Jasper.

Flick holy water into his water every 2 seconds.

Press a cross onto his forehead and start chanting "Go away. Go away."

**Wow, wasn't this fantastic/sarcasm! I'm losing it, my touch. Reviews will cure me, so take a minute to press that button right below, and review. I am still in need of my source for vitamins. Calcium, complete. LUCKY CHARMS!**


	6. 25 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale

**Your love, your love, your love is my drug. One of my favorite songs(:I know there aren't any numbers, I'm too lazy to put it down since fanfiction cuts them off. I'm a lazy bum. Regarding the title…I decided to mix it up? It's a nice title and really fits Rosalie.**

**25 Ways To Make Rosalie Hale Bite Your Head Off**

Break all her mirrors.

Call her ugly, 'nuff said.

Remind her constantly of how she is not human and never will be.

Tell her you killed Nessie.

Dye her hair swamp green.

Shrink all her clothes in the washer.

When she tries them on but it's too small, call her fat.

Remind her constantly that she can't reproduce.

Ask her if Emmett has to use a condom since she can't reproduce.

Start singing Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me.

Call her a whore, floozy, easy, etc.

Ask her if she was a slut back in school.

Pay a guy to go up to her and ask her how much. (a plus with Emmett by her side)

Pay another guy to go up to her and ask her if she's good. (a plus with Emmett by her side)

Make her read the book, Uglies and tell her it's dedicated to her.

Give her diet pills.

When she asks them why you gave it to her, look at her up and down and tell her she needs them.

Remind her constantly of how Edward doesn't show any interest or affection towards her.

Remind her of how Edward shows affection towards Bella.

Say Bella is more beautiful than her.

Say, "You're pretty. –she smiles- pretty ugly." And run away laughing your butt off.

Dye her hair rainbow.

Ask her if she comes from peacocks.

Straighten her hair and tell her she has great hair.

When she thanks you, tell her you didn't know plain and ugly was the new style.

**Sooo? How was it? I know, it isn't my best work. I've been slacking off because school's close and I need to read books. Stupid must have a library card before checking out books rule. :P Review(:**


	7. 25 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen

**I know, long time no update. It's Wednesday and since school starts at a little later on Wednesday, I have an hour to spare! Hooray! Plus, I woke up early. What time is it? 5:26. Well I woke up at 5:00 but tried to fall back asleep. I talk too much, and now you shall read. ;)**

**25 Ways To Annoy Emmett Cullen**

Hide his video games.

Remind him of how Bella won in an arm wrestling match.

Challenge him to an arm wrestling tournament.

When he accepts start shouting "Bella! Bella! I need you to do me a favor!"

Watch his facial expression.

Poke his chest.

When he asks you why you did that, say you assumed he was on steroids and wanted to see if he'd grown abnormally large man boobs.

Stick small annoying signs like Kiss Me, Hug Me, Kick Me, etc on his back.

Tell him some grizzly bear is stuff in his teeth.

Tell him to see a therapist since he is abnormally pale, large, etc.

Scare him by telling him that grizzly bears are extinct.

Get everyone except for Emmett to go on vacation.

When Emmett asks where everyone is, tell him Rosalie's wedding.

Then say loud enough for Emmett to hear that you wonder why he wasn't invited.

Get Jacob to back you up on this.

Break the TV.

Tie Emmett up in front of the broken TV.

When he gasps and starts crying call him a big baby.

Tie Emmett again and start smashing all his video games in front of him.

Watch him cry again, give him a baby bottle and pat his back while saying that it's ok, it's going to be okay (even though you know that it's not hehe).

Give Emmett a bible and tell him how he should stop obsessing over sex.

Put a red sock in a pile of Emmett's white clothes.

When all clothes are turned pink, make Emmett wear them to school.

Start the rumor that he's gay.

Paint his Jeep pink with little flowers and a hula girl as a decoration.

**I know, it's terrible. At least that's what I think. What do you guys think? Did this in a short 20 minutes. Very proud of my mad typing skills! haha**


	8. 25 Ways to Annoy Renesmme Cullen

**Hello! This is going the be the last of this story. Sorry to disappoint. I'm just doing the Cullen family along with Jacob or I'd have to do EVERYBODY and you know how long that'll take. Do you KNOW how long the list of characters are? Well…enjoy(:**

**25 Ways to Annoy Renesmee Cullen**

Ask her how old she is.

Tell her that she's a tall freak for such young age.

Call her gigantic, fat, bigfoot, etc.

Call her the Lochness monster.

When she asks you why you called her that, tell her "It _is_ your nickname (Nessie), right?"

Tell her to stop being such a baby.

Ask her if she's going to marry Jacob some day.

Tell her to see a doctor.

When she asks you why, say that she might have a growth issue.

Give her tampons.

When she gives you a confused facial expression, tell her that you think that her growing so tall and so fast is because of puberty.

Poke her chest.

When she said ow ask her, if their tender.

Remind her constantly of how she broke her mother's ribs during birth.

Remind her that she almost killed Bella.

Tell her that Alice can't read her mind.

When she says that she doesn't care, tell her that Alice can't predict her future periods.

When greeting her, say "What's up Lochness Monster?"

Watch her give you a death glare while you laugh hysterically.

Whack her with a shield.

Say "Can't penetrate that shield, can you?"

Tell her that since she was imprinted on by Jacob, that she is entitled to him forever.

When she says that she doesn't care cause she loves him, tell her that she will have to follow him around like a slave.

Tell her that Edward hated her at first.

Tell her that Jacob hated her at first too.

**This one was harder because I had no inspiration, so I know It sucks. Review? Please? :( I know it's a pile of crap because I needed to quickly write this. Stupid homework. I'll be starting a Degrassi fanfiction for my favorite coupling Eclare (Eli and Clare). Hopefully I get some review on THAT. Anyway, did you like this story or list I guess. **


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